Two Words

Posted on 07. Jan, 2010 by karentrue in health

This is  a picture of the conference room where Gerry and I met with my doctor during our first visit to MD Anderson. She agreed with and elaborated on the assessment I’d received the week before from my OB-GYN, “Possibly cancer.” And as doctors do when sharing such heavy news, she asked, “Do you have any questions?” I wanted only to say, “Only if you have answers.”

I mean no sarcasm, but in the heaviness of the moment we already had far more questions than answers, and most of them began with these two words…

What If?

  • What if it is cancer?
  • What if I can’t handle treatments?
  • What if I lose my hair?
  • What if the doctors miss something crucial?
  • What if I have a PET Scan? What if I don’t?
  • What if I skip the chemo and eat raw food?
  • What if we have to tell the kids?
  • What if I don’t get the right surgeon?
  • What if the strain of disease becomes a strain on our marriage?
  • What if treatments destroy vital organs?
  • What if it drains our bank account?
  • What if all we ever talk about is cancer?
  • What if my fear is greater than my faith?
  • What if the surgery is as bad as they say?
  • What if we don’t ask the right questions?
  • What if I can’t take care of my family?
  • What if disease becomes our new normal?
  • What if it spreads?

Questions like these feel like the drawing a of a curtain on an already gloomy day. Darkness closes in and removes all glimmers of daylight. Such questions prove useful only when considered in light of far greater inquiries…

  • What if God really does care?
  • What if He heals?
  • What if human weakness is a platform for divine strength?
  • What if I accept even this as part of a greater story
  • What if pain is God’s megaphone?
  • What if He is working this out for good…somehow?
  • What if grace is sufficient?
  • What if God really is enough?

We’ve raised all these questions and so many more in recent weeks. It’s not been easy, but with every heart wrenching “what if,” we received just two words in response…

But God

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps. 73:26)

We’re not the first to hear such a response…

The waters flooded the earth for a hundred and fifty days.
But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded. (Gen. 7:24-8:1)

You intended to harm me,
but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Gen. 50:20)

“But God.” Only two words. Yet they make all the difference in the world.

Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5:7-8)

11 Responses to “Two Words”

  1. Christine Murray

    07. Jan, 2010

    I don’t know how I would feel and think in a similar circumstance. I truly admire you! Your faith and your witness make me speechless. Thanks for sharing!

  2. karentrue

    07. Jan, 2010

    I guess you really can’t know until you go there, but each of us has our own story to tell, and though this one isn’t exactly idyllic, at least it’s mine! I’ve seen God do things in me the past few weeks that I never thought possible. He’s amazing, and really, the story is His.

  3. Ellen Magers

    08. Jan, 2010

    Awesome…what precious, “priceless” words…but God! Thanks for your insight.

  4. Joycie

    08. Jan, 2010

    “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver you and you SHALL glorify me” Ps 50:15

    Thank you blessed Father for delivering Karen this day and for fulfilling the promise of your word….that she/we SHALL glorify you.

    “Even when we are too weak to have any faith left, he remains faithful to us and will help us, for he cannot disown us who are part of himself, and he will always carry out his promises to us.” 2 Tim 2:13

    I am with you Karen. Let’s “YELL” of his excellent greatness. Bless you today, sweet sister

  5. Kristen

    08. Jan, 2010

    Thanks for sharing. We have said several times this year….but God and it has brought us much comfort when walking through some difficult days…I so relate to the what if….But God. And the feeling of these prayers seem to have been unanswered…but…God. He loves us, He listens, He is always at work for our good. He is…

    Love you tons! I am with you on the shout it from the roof tops!

  6. elisabethericksonnoe

    09. Jan, 2010

    This this is so great!!! I love you sweet friend!! Back in Abielne, we had a pastor speak of this very thing and we had a friend make all of us a really pretty wall “thingy”(best way I can describe it), that said those exact 2 words!!! I remember looking at it often and finding such strength in them. Funny, I had forgotten and have no clue what has happened to that piece! I miss you friend!! Looking forward to coming back home and getting to spend some good time with you!!

  7. Maria Egilsson

    09. Jan, 2010

    Karen: there is a depth of wisdom in these words and they remind me of the three facing a fiery furnace in Daniel 3:17-18

    , “…our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not..

    These three men were pondering these same points, God is able to heal, to deliver but if not… He is still God, He is sufficient, God is really enough!

    Thank you for sharing these pieces of your heart Karen.

    Blessings,
    maria

  8. karentrue

    09. Jan, 2010

    Thank you for leaving your comments here, my dear friends. It blesses me to know that these pieces of my journey cause you to join me in giving praise to God who deserves all we can give and so much more. You are a delight to me and to our Father who has been so very good.

  9. Judy Morgan

    17. Jan, 2010

    God gave me those exact words just this morning and I looked it up in Genesis! “But God…” :)

    Karen, I’m so thankful how God has been blessing your sweet life! You are in my prayers.

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